You're Not Cool - Vol.2 - Ravers.

I believe every generation has its version of 'disco'. You know, the kind of movement that everyone seems to love and the few stubborn assholes like myself hate. My generation's version of disco (in my opinion) would be the rave culture and the electronic music 'phenomenon' that has brought millions of people my age and younger (or older if you're a sexual predator who goes to these things) laughable amounts of retardation.

Did I strike a nerve yet? Hopefully I will.

"Ravers ain't nothin' but bitches in a suit".

When it comes to ravers, raves are all they talk about and do. They don't fucking shut up about it. "Did you go to bass-drop electro house 7 last wednesday?" NO. I WAS AT HOME TRYING TO PLAY SKYRIM AND JERK OFF AT THE SAME TIME. But really, I didn't go to your shitty fucking drunk whore party on smelly pirate hooker island. To put it bluntly.

Like I've said in a previous post (refer to 'Dubstep sucks') I have been to two raves before. So I'm not really going off inexperience here. To me, if anyone went to one of those things sober; there would be a killing spree. You can only take so much of these party-panzy turdburglars for so long. In my case, an hour.

For ravers, life is simply about partying and acting like drama queens on the internet. That seems a little boring to me since you can only party for so long before you find yourself in a dumpster outside of a K-Mart. Not to mention the factor for being able to achieve an STD is at an all time high when you go to one of these things. In the same way Christians go to church to find Jesus, Ravers go to raves to find a 2 minute blow job in a public restroom.

Not that getting a blowjob is necessarily a bad thing, it just has to do with preference of location. Some prefer the McDonalds play-place ball pit to a glory hole.

One thing that really annoys me about me about ravers is this self-righteous 'bro' mentality and the 'PLUR' bullshit. The bro mentality being "Let's get fucked up and fuck bitches bro!" you know the kind of lingo that makes you want to bungee jump with the cable attached to your nutsack? Yeah that one. 

Raves are literally packed with bros and creepers who end up being on Dateline NBC and get arrested for being sexual predators. 

This goes along very well with the whole "image-infatuation" thing ravers possess. They claim to be 'individuals' when they really conform to a scene. Maybe I feel this way because I usually dress however the fuck I want to and couldn't really give shit about what I look like unless I'm trying to get laid at the time, even then, it's a very minimal care. "But it's raver gear!" Don't you mean..... rapist gear?

Then there is 'P.L.U.R' which means "Peace. Love. Unity. Respect". It sounds great on paper, but it's really just a set rules to keep ravers from killing each other whilst high on speed. Which they should probably try out sometime. Shit, it worked for the Romans. 

Maybe I'm annoyed at this because it is such a popular thing. I have a tendency to get annoyed at things that are popular, because 90% of the time things that are popular usually suck. To better understand this, I'll give examples of what sucked in my generation (so far). 

1. Backstreet boys and the boy band craze: have record label conglomerates get a bunch of clean-cut dudes from the mickey mouse club to sing crappy pop music in order to reach a pre-teen fanbase and sell pepsi products. LAME.

2. Billy Ray Cyrus/Miley Cyrus: Even though they were both popular at different time periods, I pair them together because they both found success off doing shitty country based pop music. Plus, Billy Ray sold his daughter to the disney channel. Good job you fucking no talent cracker assface!

3. Radio Disney: Get a bunch of kids through disney slave labor and have them do goody-goody pop music butt fuckery to make a quick buck off some poor sap who shops at the mall.

4. Pump-up sneakers: What a fucking gimmick. They never made me jump higher. Bullshit.

5. Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit: Get a bunch of mall creatures to package teenage angst in a CD and sell millions. Everyone in elementary school had 'Hybrid Theory' and I absolutely hated it.

6. Emo/Scene culture: What happens when you get enough people to shop at hot topic and attempt to look 'edgy'? You guessed it.

7. Beyblades: Killing bathtubs since '99.

8. Star Wars episodes 1, 2, and 3: FUCK YOU GEORGE LUCAS. FUCK YOU.

9. Twilight: Take vampires (who were once badass) and make them lame. Fanfare for fat chicks.

10. Taylor Swift: She is so talented though! NOT. T Swift is like elevator music for rednecks.

11. Jersey Shore: Someone nuke those fuckers already. 

12. The Kardashians: Another set of assholes who are famous for being famous. Send em to Siberia so they can get eaten by polar bears.

13. Raves/Dubstep.

Looking at this list, it definitely seems like the decline of western civilization. Soon we'll all be taken over by China because everyone is to busy raving and getting fucked up off bath salts.

Stupid ass mother fuckers.