My point in mentioning this? Well periodically I go on a religious hatred binge, and I guess you could say that I'm at that point.
Maybe its because of Rick Santorum (you bitch-ass mother fucker shithead dickwad!) or maybe its because since the "end days" are rapidly approaching, more people are becoming Jesus freaks. Instead of going "hey this might just be a spiritual acension and growth for humankind!" its "turn to Jesus before the anti-christ comes to earth and rapes us all in the ass!" or "Wait for the rapture to come so we can all go to heaven!" I seriously hope the latter comes true.
Man, I was sure pissed when Harold Camping's rapture prediction was false. I wasn't mad in the sense that he is a religious loon spreading false prophecy, but I was mad in the sense that it didn't come true.
I was looking forward to waking up in a world where all the religious fartknockers ditched their clothes and went straight for heaven. First thing that came to my mind is: "shit, we can finally get something done down here!"
Who knows maybe the Christians and the bible are right about the antichrist. I would say that its Rick Santorum, but you probably already guessed that.
I'm sure the second Jesus comes back he's going to be like "Damn son, shits fucked up around here" then he'll go straight back to heaven.
Fuck I rip on religion so much. If there is a hell I'm going for sure.
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| "I am here to exorcise ghosts from your pants". |
Ok, so I have no idea why I added a Gary Spivey photo. Who cares. I run this shit.
As for part 2 of this post, I am going to shed a little light as to why Seal is a fucking badass.
1. He did "Kiss From A Rose" and made a video to 'Batman Forever', the most sensitive of the batman movies.
2. He banged Heidi Klume. Let me say that once again. HE BANGED HEIDI KLUME.
3. He covered 'Fly Like An Eagle' for the movie Space jam.
4. He slaps the bass in 'Crazy'.
5. He banged Heidi Klume.
6. He defeated Chuck Norris in a fight. Chuck Norris cried.
7. Seal once saved 25 kids from a burning school bus.
8. Seal taught Prince how to shred on guitar. He was going to play on Purple Rain but couldn't due to a humanities mission in Tibet to save two sherpas on top of Mt. Everest.
9. Seal owns a Unicorn.
10. Seal is God.
I don't care what you think. Seal is a fucking excellent singer and his voice makes my penis tingle. Deal with it.
Warped Tour: The music festival equivilent of a tampon.
Every year it seems the Warped Tour lineup keeps getting shittier and shittier. In its beginnings there were a few decent punk and metal acts, making it somewhat worth while. Now the festival has been completely bogged down to appeal to the skunk haired hot topic weenbags who wear Justin Bieber tour shirts and buy Adam Lambert singles on itunes.
Fuck you fucking idiots.
I mean seriously. Brokencyde? The millionaires? Who in the fuck would ever want to be near that shit?
Maybe I'm over reacting. But I think that shit sucks. All of it. I'd rather rip off my cock and throw it in a river than ever listen to that horrible poppy garbage. And when it comes to the battle of the bands thing they have, respectable and good metal bands actually try to get on it.
WHAT THE FUCK GUYS. FUCK YOU FOR DOING THAT.
Anyways, the whole tour is a bunch of shit on a stick. Get it?
Shit: meaning that, it's plain horrible. Shit on a stick: mean that, it's accesible and easy.
So when one goes to warped tour, that means that he or she is actually taking a big bite out of a piece of shit on a stick. Hope you enjoy that taste of plastic mall paraphenalia and corporate ear rape you wussies.
I wonder what people over in Europe think of warped tour. Since they have all the big metal festivals and what not. They probably think we are a bunch of idiots who only listen to bands that bitch about their previous girlfriends. I can't stand that thought of being lumped in with a bunch of snakebite flaunting space cadets who wear nut hugger pants to pick up on 14 year olds.
You know what you should do if you are these people? Go to a rave and overdose on ecstasy. Go to a yacht party and die from alcohol poisoning while the ship sinks. Stand in front of a train. Jump off a bridge. Or, you can buy an Anthrax CD and just get with the fucking program.
Fuck your scene.
Douchebags.
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